Coping with Multiple Deaths

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It s hard enough to cope with one death, but when multiple deaths occur at the same time or in close succession it can be downright overwhelming. When many deaths occur at the same time it may be under traumatic or accidental circumstances, and the shock of the surrounding events can lead to even greater grief. Family and friends can be invaluable for an individual trying to cope with the death or more than one loved one, but ultimately the individual alone will need to work through his or her grief in order to truly survive the trauma.

Family and Friends of the Bereaved

Family and friends of the bereaved may be suffering themselves, but pulling together to get through the days, weeks and months after the initial loss(es) is important. Helping each other to arrange funerals and/or memorials, sorting through the estates of the deceased, organising child care and meals and keeping an eye on each other to make sure that everyone is eating and sleeping is a safety net that many individuals need following the deaths of more than one loved one. If it seems that one individual is not coping as well, such as by turning to drink or drugs, violence or anger, or an inability to care for themselves or their dependents, then organising grief counselling and/or therapy immediately may be a good idea.

Surviving the Losses of Multiple Deaths

Ultimately, surviving more than one death at a time is something that each individual will need to do for him or herself. This can be even harder if one of the deaths (or more) was accidental or traumatic given the sudden and painful nature of the event(s). Allowing themselves time to grieve for each person, and recognising that grieving for multiple losses will take longer than for just one loss, is a good way for bereaved individuals to begin exploring their grief. Putting off other things for a while may even be necessary in order to grieve properly. However, individuals who begin to lose interest in life, who feel that they are being punished for something through the death of others, who find themselves feeling out of control with rage or who turn to drink or drugs to mask the pain must be honest with themselves about their behaviours. Getting help to work through their emotions, whatever they may be, is imperative.

The death of more than one loved one is a unique trauma for every individual who experiences it. However, each person who must cope with more than one death will already know inside themselves how they can best cope. If these coping mechanisms are destructive, then seeking professional help to find others is important. Family and friends can be invaluable at this time, so allowing them to help may be a way for everyone to work through their grief. If, however, a family member or friend begins to impede someone else s grief process then discussing how this has happened and what each would like to do about it may help everyone stay on the same page during a difficult time.

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  1. My brother and nephew were killed in a car accident 3 weeks ago then the day of their funeral my father In-law died from cancer…..Finding it very hard to comprehend and cope with..I struggle with the fact that my brother and nephew were not found for several hrs after the accident and were out of the vehicle..it would have been my nephews 18th last Saturday and instead of celebrating we are grieving. my dad also past away 10 years ago yesterday..It’s just too much to deal with..I feel sick all the time and so tired and emotionally drained..After my dad died my father In law took on the role..He was a great man and I already miss him. I have four kids under the age of 12 and they have been so wonderful but i worry about them and my husband too. My youngest son is 6 and when his dad has driven, he has said please don’t kill me dad. I am doing the best I can but is it going to have a long term effect on my kids are they going to be ok?

  2. @trace. It’s hard to say what long term effect this will have on the children, but it sounds as though you need to look for some support to help you handle your undertandable grief. CRUSE and Winstons Wish are two excellent organisations which will help.

  3. My oldest brother passed away in December of 2014. He was in ICU for 11 days, all of his organs were failing and we think it might have been due to his drinking and recreational drug use. He was 45. It was very difficult seeing him suffer during those days. His eyes all full of yellow guck, his skin yellow, his stomach swollen … he would never be the same if he survived. We were all hoping that he would pull through and we all said we would help him recover, but when the doctors came to tell us there was no more hope for him it was crushing. We were able to say our good byes and I love yous his last day. All of our family was together and we stayed together for the holidays. I went back home to continue my life and get back to some normalcy then on September 13th my boyfriend of 17 years passes of a heart attack. I couldn’t believe that the love of my life was gone and I would never see him again. He was my rock, the one who kept me grounded. When I was feeling down about my brother I could talk to him and cry and he would listen and make me feel better. Now I am lost and in pain and I feel I have no one. My world is crumbling and when I feel that I can lose it at any minute I get news that a close co-worker passes from breast cancer last week. Sometimes I feel like someone is playing a sick trick on me. I’m numb.

  4. Eliza – Your Question:

    My oldest brother passed away in December of 2014. He was in ICU for 11 days, all of his organs were failing and we think it might have been due to his drinking and recreational drug use. He was 45. It was very difficult seeing him suffer during those days. His eyes all full of yellow guck, his skin yellow, his stomach swollen. he would never be the same if he survived. We were all hoping that he would pull through and we all said we would help him recover, but when the doctors came to tell us there was no more hope for him it was crushing. We were able to say our good byes and I love yous his last day. All of our family was together and we stayed together for the holidays. I went back home to continue my life and get back to some normalcy then on September 13th my boyfriend of 17 years passes of a heart attack. I couldn’t believe that the love of my life was gone and I would never see him again. He was my rock, the one who kept me grounded. When I was feeling down about my brother I could talk to him and cry and he would listen and make me feel better. Now I am lost and in pain and I feel I have no one. My world is crumbling and when I feel that I can lose it at any minute I get news that a close co-worker passes from breast cancer last week. Sometimes I feel like someone is playing a sick trick on me. I’m numb.


    Our Response:

    This must be so hard to cope with, we really feel for you. Please do not let your world crumble, take each day and, just for now, don’t look to the future. As we say in the article, accept the support of any other family and friends around you. There are some amazing charities such as CRUSE/a> and if you ask at Citizen’s Advice Bureau they may know of local bereavement groups in your area. Maybe some of our readers will come and post their advice and experiences here to help to. Take care

  5. I don’t know where to begin. My sister was diagnosed with brain cancer on July 28, 2015 and she died on October 27, 2015. She has 2 children, one is grown and out of the house and the other is 16. To complicate matters my father passed on October 20, 2015 after suffering from heart issues, Parkinson’s and lewy body dymensia. he was wheel chair bound and would halucinate all day long. I spent 5 days at the end of my sisters life by her bedside, not eating, sleeping or showering. I did not know if I could go to my father’s funeral until the day before and that was in another state half way across the country. My sister was the third person in my immediate family to have brain cancer. There is no one left. If it wasn’t for my sisters children I would rather not be here. I was all the time that it was me who died and not her. And then I have a brother with severe addiction problems who has not worked in over 6 years. The financial issues have just been an additional complication. I have not had a happy life and can’t take any more. Who does this happen too? I spent my younger years caring for my grandmother who raised me from the age of 3. That was 20 years of my life. I feel I have nothing left to give and cry alot, do not sleep and have lost 25 pounds since all this happened with my sister. I can’t go on like this. I don’t know how to cope anymore.

  6. My mum in law died in Nov my mum Dec my dad 8 days later in January, my son in law February and now my estranged husband of 23 years. Beginning to think my family is cursed. Our poor children have seen so much sorrow this last 7 months, having to support them in their grief has worn me down to nothing. We haven’t had chance to grieve each one before another passes, we’ve come to dread that late night/early morning phone call

  7. Kc – Your Question:

    My mum in law died in Nov my mum Dec my dad 8 days later in January, my son in law February and now my estranged husband of 23 years. Beginning to think my family is cursed. Our poor children have seen so much sorrow this last 7 months, having to support them in their grief has worn me down to nothing. We haven’t had chance to grieve each one before another passes, we’ve come to dread that late night/early morning phone call


    Our Response:

    Goodness what a lot to have to cope with. We really recommend that you and your children contact one of the many excellent bereavement organisations and charities in the UK like CRUSE . You can also do a search for bereavement support groups in your area which will enable you to talk about your own feelings. Do also try and make some occasions both with and without your children, to celebrate the lives of your loved ones individually…cry and laugh while you remember them and what they meant to you. Take care.

  8. Hi. I’m so pleased that I found this page as I feel I’m sometimes losing my mind. My MIL passed away unexpectedly in March 2014. We all thought she was getting better. We got on so well and I miss her so much. Eight months later in Nov 2014 my dad passed away with a massive heart attack. He was at work just like normal. I still can’t quite believe it has happened even though I know he’s not here. Six months later in May 2015, one of my closest friends who I chatted to most days passed away from cancer. I’ve spent the last couple.of years trying to rebuild my life and trying not to lose my mind for the sake of my children and family. I wasn’t sure if I’d been over reacting and I really ought to have been feeling better sooner. It’s been two years since my dad passed and I’m beginning to feel ‘normal’ again. I can see progress in my feeing am emotions. The next thing I want to do is to visit the resting place of my friend and then I’ll feel as though I worked through everything. Thanks for reading this far.

  9. My sister and I were 23 months apart in age. My entire life has centered around my parents, my sister and later my son. She was a stronger and more conservative, more responsible human being in every way. We were like night and day my mother would often say. My family has always been close. My parents were married nearly 50 years and loved each other and us unconditionally. My sister had asthma or so she thought, we later found out she had diagnosed herself for many years. My sister was shy and bashful and very pure. Even at the age of 44 she had never dated nor ever had a boyfriend. When she was diagnosed with cancer, it was already stage 4b. She had cervical cancer that had spread to her lungs. We all believed she would still make it through, but kidney failure took her on 10/22/16 not even three months after wer were told about the cancer. The chemo wreaked havoc in her body. She was such a strong person I felt as though I had lost an arm and the devastation to my parents was crushing and I am physically suffering when I remember the sound of their cries when we were told she would not live through that weekend. I didn’t live at home, moved out 12 years ago… But the three of them had always lived together. My sister’s best friends were my parents. The affect her death had on them was visibly obvious. I was extremely concerned about whether or not they could survive losing my sister. It wasn’t 6 weeks after that my mom called me hysterical, screaming that my dad had suffered a heart attack. I asked if he was ok, and never expected to hear her answer “Noooooo!” When I realized the paramedics had been trying to revive him for more than 20 minutes, my heart sank. I couldn’t wrap my head around the loss of them both for me and my son…. But even more shattered at the incomprehensible amount of heartache and sadness that we were left with. Even imagining how this must be for my mom I break down. I am overwhelmed by the reality of what has happened and what life will be like from now on. I am terrified that my mom, now 70 years old, will be taken from me and at the same time terrified something might happen to me and what that would put her through. I am so depressed.

  10. Dear Jo, I am not sure if you would read this – i lost my sister on 31st March 2017 due to a cardio pulmonary failure or that’s what doctors say – she was just vomiting when i took her to emergency for rehydration treatment but didn’t take her back home alive. My mom had passed away a year earlier due to hemorrhagic stroke – Life makes little sense and fear of losing a remaining loved ones lurks in sleeps and throughout the day. The guilt of not having done enough for my sister and mom keeps me from forgiving myself – i keep thinking if i would have done this, then perhaps, the result would have been different. I am torn inside out, wanting to go away with my mom and sister to the other side, yet held on to this life by my small children and their need of me. Just when i was beginning to cope with my mom’s loss and move on with my sisters, I am once again back at the beginning of being ripped apart by pain of loss. This feeling of dread doesn’t go away and at times i feel i cant cope anymore – the loss and fear of loss seem to be immobilizing me.

  11. I am 56 and strugglingl. My losses started when my mom fell and broke her hip. Things did not go well and the result was complete dementia and pushed forward her Parkinson. Ten days later, a large truck ran a red light and struck my husbands vehicle.(We had been together for 34 years.) Fifteen days later my husband still laid unresponsive, still on a vent, septic, with gangrene in all of his extremities. We had talked many times on what to do if either one of us was ever faced with this. I had the vent removed and held him as died. (although the process only lasted about 10 minutes.- watching his struggle was overwhelming.) My dad (an old farmer, would not leave my moms side) continue to care for mom’s overwhelming needs at home. I received a phone call 70 days later that he had suffered a fatal heart attack. An issue that was unknown. Now we had to deal with mom. She no longer knew us and impossible to be kept at home. So 6 months after the death of my husband, we moved mom to a nursing facility. Now 9 months have passed and mom died a couple of months ago. In the course of 1 year and 5 days. I have lost all those people that I was closest too. The loss of my husband – my rock, my anchor first has left me to seek harbor. The person who would have helped me through the losses is gone – in traumatic fashion. I thought I was doing “ok” But, now I have crashed and burned into depression and anxiety. Going to a doctor now. Meds and counseling. Really tired. Just want to find a life. A widower friend so perfectly stated the feeling “I hate the loneliness that is now life.”

  12. It all started just over 8 months ago. I was 27. My dad, Scott, was killed in a tragic motorcycle accident on August 27, 2016. His funeral was on the 2nd of September. Me and my younger sister took it really hard. We have no other siblings and our parents had been divorced for about 6 years at that time. Our mom is slightly unstable to say the least, our dad was our rock. On top of everything else me and my husband, RJ, of 8 years were dealing with the fact that his dad, Joe, wasn’t going to be around much longer. My father in law was 80 years old and had a lot of health problems including dimentia. My mother in law, Linda, was the one who took care of him and spent every day with him. We all lived together, my in laws, husband, two daughters and me. Linda died suddenly on Christmas Eve 2016, of heart failure. Nearly 4 months after my dad. Her service was January 2nd, 2017. Joe got worse every day after that. Some days the dimentia was so bad he didn’t even know who we were. It was heartbreaking to watch and deal with. Joe passed away February 25, 2017. His funeral was March 2nd 2017. Within 6 months we lost 3 of our parents. They all died on Saturdays.

  13. I lost my Dad suddenly on Saturday, May 6, 2017. My Mother and I truly believe he died of a broken heart. My brother passed away from alcohol addiction on August 9, 2016. My father has been grief stricken ever since. I think he thought he could save my brother. Having back-to-back deaths has been devastating. While I have returned to work this week, in all honestly, all I want to do is go to sleep and not wake up. I know I will eventually start to feel better. But right now I feel like a zombie.

  14. Carol – Your Question:

    I lost my Dad suddenly on Saturday, May 6, 2017. My Mother and I truly believe he died of a broken heart. My brother passed away from alcohol addiction on August 9, 2016. My father has been grief stricken ever since. I think he thought he could save my brother. Having back-to-back deaths has been devastating. While I have returned to work this week, in all honestly, all I want to do is go to sleep and not wake up. I know I will eventually start to feel better. But right now I feel like a zombie.


    Our Response:

    We hope you soon start to feel less numb. Please talk to someone via an organisation like CRUSE or a local support group though. Take care.

  15. I am struggling with 2 major loses in my family. My daughter too. My mom died nov 10th and 3 weeks later I found my husband in our home and he died. I don’t know how to relieve this sadness and pain in my heart. My mother was my ROCK. My husband and I were married 32 years and he was my soulmate. I can’t seem to concentrate or function. Depression and major anxiety are taking over. I tried to go back to work but people didn’t truly understand and treated me like the plaque. I stopped working again due to pain and stress. My heart is so broken as this just happened at the end of 2016. Hard to go on day in and day out. Trying hard for the sake of my daughter but I have many panic attacks that feel like heart attacks. Tried counseling but to painful. Plus no good advise and I already know the same things they try to tell you. Need help. CJF.

  16. Chrisse – Your Question:

    I am struggling with 2 major loses in my family. My daughter too. My mom died nov 10th and 3 weeks later I found my husband in our home and he died. I don’t know how to relieve this sadness and pain in my heart. My mother was my ROCK. My husband and I were married 32 years and he was my soulmate. I can’t seem to concentrate or function. Depression and major anxiety are taking over. I tried to go back to work but people didn’t truly understand and treated me like the plaque. I stopped working again due to pain and stress. My heart is so broken as this just happened at the end of 2016. Hard to go on day in and day out. Trying hard for the sake of my daughter but I have many panic attacks that feel like heart attacks. Tried counseling but to painful. Plus no good advise and I already know the same things they try to tell you. Need help. CJF.


    Our Response:

    This must be so hard for you. Have you talked to your GP? It might be worth going and telling them, especially about the panic attacks. If counselling hasn’t worked, there may be other things to try such as support groups. It will be painful at first (but of everything is painful at the moment for you isn’t it) but sometimes opening up to others, especially those who’ve experienced it themselves, might be the starting to point to being able to forward a little with your life. The CRUSE organisation is a good palce to start.

  17. I am beyond grief stuck . As a nursing professional and Hospice nurse I am accustom to death and dying almost monthly . Recently though 1 have been averaging 1 a week for the last year ……These people are friends , family and support people whohave been an integral part of my life . I am doing group and one on one talk therapy but I a, in a hopeless desperate place . The very people who helped me earlier in the year are now gone. I feel like i am a curse and I am beginning to isolate and stay inside myself . Please any thoughts I am getting extremely despondent

  18. I am relieved to read your stories. I was not sure if I was the only one who has panic attacks so severely after the experience I have endured. This year my daughter would be 18. I have to watch kids go to prom and graduation and it cuts me deep. But her death happened along time ago. It is the more recent events that have got me feeling like I got hit by two trains. The man of my life, my love Matt died suddenly at 40 in 2016. We had just celebrated his birthday and danced the night away. We were planning on moving to California and he was going to adopt my daughter. It was perfect. My dad also died within one month of Matt ‘s death. My dad and him were best friends. Us three together were best friends. So I continued to work all last year picking up extra shifts and not really dealing with it very well. I would cry all night when no one was around to see. I have one friend who also lost her fiance. She was so grief stricken that she would call me some nights balling. And we would together. Because it is embarrassing to grieve and it is private. One night in March this year she called me and told me she would end her life. I didn’t take her seriously. The next morning at work I got the call. She actually did it! I walked out of my job that I have had for over ten years. I sat in my car paralyzed and lost. I couldn’t even move for hours. After that day I have had extreme panic attacks. I feel like someone is chasing me and I am running in place constantly. So it has been a few months now and I decided to visit my dying sister. She has assured me that it will be ok but she is scared to die. I really don’t know how to feel anything anymore. I really don’t like being around people anymore. I just want to hide in a forest somewhere. I despise counselors. I just wanted to share this with this forum because I thought maybe someone could relate.

  19. I’m not sure what to say but I can relate to a lot of your posts to some level. Within 3 years, I lost a friend, 3 aunts ( two under the age of 61), a great uncle, my 28 year old cousin who my parents adopted when we were kids, and my Nana as of 3 months ago. ( she was 90 but was my like a mom). My 58 year old uncle just moved in with my parents’ he has early onset Alzheimer’s. All of this has happened on top of being a new mom and my husband losing his job and me being the financial stability. I also hate my job and my boss but I just feel frozen. I’m stunned. I used to be so happy and if I didn’t have my daughter I don’t know what I would be like. I’ve always been the strong one but I feel broken. I saw a therapist and she started losing track of people and I loathed having to tell my story over and over again when we only had 45 mins. I’m hoping for some peace soon for me and my family.

  20. Sherbear – Your Question:

    I’m not sure what to say but I can relate to a lot of your posts to some level. Within 3 years, I lost a friend, 3 aunts ( two under the age of 61), a great uncle, my 28 year old cousin who my parents adopted when we were kids, and my Nana as of 3 months ago. ( she was 90 but was my like a mom). My 58 year old uncle just moved in with my parents’ he has early onset Alzheimer’s. All of this has happened on top of being a new mom and my husband losing his job and me being the financial stability. I also hate my job and my boss but I just feel frozen. I’m stunned. I used to be so happy and if I didn’t have my daughter I don’t know what I would be like. I’ve always been the strong one but I feel broken. I saw a therapist and she started losing track of people and I loathed having to tell my story over and over again when we only had 45 mins. I’m hoping for some peace soon for me and my family.


    Our Response:

    Oh Sherbear, we hope you find some peace soon too. What a terrible few years you’ve had. You have your own little family to care for now, but don’t take on too much…one day at a time. Seize each little glimmer of joy each day and you’ll soon find there are more of these than sad times. Take care and do seek out the support from the many amazing support organisations like Cruse

  21. My only brother shot and killed my twin 16 Year old Nieces 4-days before their 17th, Birthday and then shot and killed himself. One month later we found out my wife was in liver failure. She was only alive for 28 days and then died on our 21st, Anniversary. She died in another state waiting for a transplant and her family kept me from saying goodbye. Both my parents are dead and now i am totally alone, no family to spend the Holidays with. I have been seeing a Grief Counselor once a week and it is helping, but sometimes when i think about having no family it really scares me. I miss my Wife’s great cooking and eat only enough to stay alive. I am tired all of the time and i am surprised i have made it this long. It has been 6-months since my wife died and i live alone. I am moving back to my home state in April to be closer to friends. How long is it going to take to get my life back to “Normal?”

  22. I had my Grandmother, Step dad, Sister, Aunt and my best friend die within a space of six years. I don’t know many people or have many friends and so the impact was even more devastating as these people were the only people in my life. I’ve also lost my house and almost became homeless. I find myself feeling increasingly hopeless, becoming overly sensitive and above all wanting to be silent for days on end. I want nothing out of life and long for solitude all the time although I can fake being normal and friendly quite well.

  23. In May 2017 my ex husbands mother and father died within 8 days of each other which had a devastating impact on my sons. Then in August 2017 my younger brother died suddenly of a brain haemorrhage, causing such over whelming grief to myself and my sons, and my aging parents. Finding myself trying to come to terms myself and trying to support others I love . My younger son and his partner had their 1st baby in May bringing in expected joy to us .. ( he really is a gift) My father then passed away on 20th June this year.. I totally adored him..I’ve been awash with so much grief and not having come to terms with losing my brother However my younger son is just not coping at all..he said he’s in a dark place .. he’s not depressed but cannot explain …. He is happy with his partner, they are planning a wedding , loves and adores his son and knows he has good things to look forward too .. however he is not happy .. his patner, Emma feels she cannot cope either or knows how to deal with all of this . I too feel out of my depth and worry it will cause the collapse of their relationship.. what and how can we all mend ?? Thank you Angela

  24. My little brother hung himself when he found his 11 month old daughter dead ,she was failure to thrive .. my mom died less than 2 months later

  25. I lost my father, brother, cousin / boyfriend in a thirteen month period. My cousin helped me deal with my brothers physical abuse after my father died. My mother had mental health issues and was a verbal and emotional abuser who did nothing to stop her son. Things improved when my cousin intervened. I loved all of them regardless. My life improved. One night my cousin, brother and others went out for the night and four were killed in a horrific car accident. That is when the real night mare started. I experienced post traumatic stress, memory loss, nightmares, suicide attempt. My mother changed at night and entered a very dark place that she wanted to take me to. At the age of 16 l went to another planet to live. I suppose l could not cope with all the grief and trauma. I didn’t want to go there but l did anyway. That’s how l describe it. I lost so much of myself. I had memory loss and post traumatic stress for over 23 years. At 39 l had 3 sons and l knew their happiness was in jeopardy with me the way l was. Il had to find out what was wrong with me. I had to regain terrible memories and try and deal with what happened to me. I eventually got there.

  26. I lost my mother-in-law on 12/23/17, my dad on 4/2/18 (my mom’s/his wife’s birthday), my 27 year old niece/God daughter on 4/13/18, my brother-in-law on 5/18/18, my mom on 6/5/18, my 36 year old nephew/Godson on 2/23/19, and my one year old husky was hit by a car on 3/5/19. I can’t take any more. Lost 7 of the most important lives ever in a short period of time and I can’t take it.

  27. I lost my mom in May, and my dad in July. They were married over 60 years. I never grieved due to my family and foolishness. A lot of jealousy due to what I was left with. Now, I don’t deal with my family. I’ve basically disowned my family. My family acted so crazy, I wasn’t able to grieve. I’m planning on getting counseling. Has anyone gone through the same? If so, what did you do?

  28. Mum schizophrenia from my birth resulting in my having PTSD, OCD. No father. Lost nephew 2014 alcohol, Lost sister alcohol 4/11/18, Lost other sister alcohol 1/1.19. Mother having breakdown at present. I was attacked with glass recently and Police have falsely charged me. I have a court case 6-9 years if convicted. Found out earlier dog will probably have to be put down as bones crumbling. I don’t know what to do anymore just want to die. Don’t know if I can carry on.

  29. I’ve never said this out loud, I divorced lost my home, & business 2014. 2015 suddenly lost my mother, a week later my aunt, a minth later my grandmother, within 3 months 2 more uncles. 2016 my father became gravely ill, had to move in with me. Lost 2 friends in 2016 while caring for my critically ill father a full time job and school. My father passed in 2017, 3 months later my brother was diagnosed with spindle cell carcinoma, I quit my job spent my retirement to take care of my dying brother. He lived 10 months. July 12 will be 1 year since his death, I am so lost. I believe im in every stage of grief. I’ve been to counseling, emdr therapy( I also suffer from PTSD, from an earlier experience). I’ve yet to finish school, I’m struggling to pay bills, im depressed, angry, scared, unsure. Not sure how to make life work.

  30. I lost my nana on 7-15-19 and my grandfather today on 8-18-19 and it’s just so much i loved them so much but they lived in another state and i didn’t see them much. my nana was always there for me and always wanted others to be happy. my grandfather was a great man always respectful and caring. he lost his memory a few years ago though and could not remember anything. it was heartbreaking seeing him like that and him not being able to know me. i don’t know how i can handle there loses and i don’t know if i ever will be able to.

  31. Brother, 2012 Mom, 2015 Best friend, 2015 God mum, 2016 Dad, 2017 Brother, 2018 (last family member) Today, 2019 cousin Yeah, I’m numb….luckily I have a great hubby and 2 great grown girls…..

  32. First, my heart goes out to everyone on this site. Although the circumstances are different, we all share in a unique and intense pain and can take some comfort that we are not alone in experiencing such pain. In March of 2017, I lost my mother in law unexpectedly. She was kep alive until we could see her to say goodbye. She was one of my best friends. Six months later my Dad passed. My mom and I had to decide to remove a ventilator and let him pass. He had suffered through a stroke for 5 years. Then in March, my brother, my hero and only sibling, fell into sepsis unexpectedly. He was in ICU for a week, in a special rotating bed and purposely paralyzed and in a medical coma but he ultimately did not recover. I was in the room with him while the team tried to restart his heart and held his hand as they said his blood pressure wasn’t holding and his death was imminent. I was with him and watched him pass from this world into another. He left behind a minor son that I had to begin working with the court system for his care and estate and the mountain of paperwork that comes with that. My mom would die 2 months later. I saw her the night before she passed and have at least the comfort that I had fixed her nightgown, covered her with her favorite blanket and pillow and knew she passed with dignity in her sleep. Lastly, my father in law died 6 months later. He moved close to us after his wife died and saw him daily. These people were our lives. We spent every holiday with them. Talked to them all nearly daily. Now, we have no support system. No one to celebrate holidays with anymore, no one to just call and say hi. We have just the 4 of us left and we are trying to build a future without them. I just try to remember my mom gave me all the skills I need to thrive. For me to not to use them is to dishonor her. She raised me well and although the pain is constant and some days debilitating, I tell myself to be patient with me and take it one day at a time and that I owe it to all of them to find a path back to happiness again. I have children, my brother has a son and that is their legacy. It is my job to make sure the family still thrives.

  33. My grandma who is my best friend and someone who I look up to passed away in April this year suffering from an illness. In June another relative passed suddenly. It was a giant shock as he had attended my Nan’s funeral and he was so healthy and happy and full of life and told me all about my Nan when she was younger how reckless but kind spirited she was. And now in September another relative had passed away on my partners side and it’s been a rough time trying to figure out what’s going on what’s happening and where I stand in all this. I just don’t know what to do. Who I am or what life is anymore. But I know I should thank the world I am still healthy and that my family will always be with me. And I have to solider on! I hope everyone on this site is able to get the help they deserve and need! And that you’re not alone and it’s hard to process these things. Sometimes things happen but we have to pull ourselves from the pits of depression and darkness and know we’re not alone! This is a time to be with family and friends and to share the people’s lives who have passed and celebrate who amazing they are and the more we share the more we feel one with them and come to terms with the heartache

  34. I lost my dad the day after my birthday from sepsis 8/22/19, then my grandma 18days later from cancer 9/9/19, and then last night my favorite cat passed away from being ran over by a car 9/11/19. I’m currently pregnant and due in November, In the past 20 days I’ve held the dead body’s of 3 loved ones and said my goodbyes. I’m having panic attacks now. I don’t know how much more I can deal with right now.

  35. After reading some of your heartbreaking comments,I feel mine is just another sad story…..married very young 17..Iv five children…At 27 I lost my one and only brother aged 20 to suicide..Mum was never the same..my marriage was unhappy..Took me yrs to get over the loss..But people said I’m strong..My two eldest boys started to get in trouble prison ect..I stood by and gave all my support ..Divorced when the youngest was two, as their father hadied always been controlling. ..Took care of mum then dad for 6 yrs and lost both to Dementia..had councillors. ..Now in 2019 in July iv lost my son to murder….He was 43 and it’s turned my whole world upside down….Iv 3 son’s and one daughter left…My fear and anxiety has hit the roof..I’m also very very angry..My son was troubled And on drugs…My eldest is also a rebel…How can I ever stop this awful fear that more dreadful things are going to happen….Also their father has offered No sympathy..How could he live with himself….Griefstricken mumXN

  36. I’ve had 4 deaths in the last 8weeks.2 dear friends of 41years passed away my brother in law who I was close to hung himself and my cat passed away.I’m heartbroken.

  37. At the start of this year, my gran and highly handicapped aunt had a house on the same street as my mum and dads flat. When I come down to visit from Dundee where I currently live, there’s the family unit all close to eachother. Until May this year when my dad died of a sudden massive heart attack, with no warning, just dropped down and was gone. My mum then moved in with my gran as the flat was my dads. My gran fell and broke her hip 3 weeks ago, she died on Saturday from complications. The house will be put up for sale. My mum is homeless. I am stuck in Dundee. This year has taken everything.

  38. Hi, I think I need help, since one of my best friends commited suicide 3 years ago, I have lost a further 11 friends and family through death. The 3 suicides of my male friends, and my grandad and uncle hit me the most. I have been diagnosed with chronic depression since nick hung himself 3 years ago and I feel this feeling low will never end.

  39. I understand this all to well. Apparently I’m looking for something if I’m looking this up online. I’m a single mother of a beautiful 11 year old. The deaths started for me 18 months ago. I first lost a close friend to liver cancer. Then my father to dementia. Next my boyfriend to cancer. Then my best friend and adopted nother to cancer and lastly my rock who helped with my child to suicide. I have and mat still be at that point where I feel like God is punishing me but I know he’s not. I’ve grown closer to God but struggle everyday to be the mom that I need to be. In the past few weeks a few th7ngs have happened good and instead of enjoying it I completely break down into panic attacks. My body doesn’t know how to react right now. I’m here to listen if anybody has advice.

  40. Gosh this is my life. Just when I think I have begun to grieve one loss this year, I have to start at square one for the next. I’m 28 years old. In December 2018 I lost my mom to lung cancer. She was 58. In January I lost my Aunt who helped raise me, in March I lost my dad who was 62, in June I lost one of my dogs, in October I lost another Aunt and two weeks ago I lost my sister who was only 35. All sudden and unexpected for the most part. I just hope I’m done losing people this year! I think I’m at my breaking point.

  41. My grandmother had just passed away a couple days before thanksgiving. Normally every year me and my family would come visit her every other holiday, so it was so shocking to me she had died days away from us seeing her again. I was trying to get over it, hide my emotions and focus on school. However, a week past and found out my cat had just died. Her name was Ares, and I was with her for 6 years every single day. Its the holiday season yet it’s filled with sadness. I don’t know how to handle this.

  42. I just today lost one of my granduncles to suicide a few hours ago, the other is in the hospital and has a low chance of making it, and his daughter was just told she only has 2 weeks to live. All happened in a few hours and it is very hard to deal with, especially me being only 13.

  43. I know this all too well. My Auntie passed away this morning due to terminal cancer, a year and a half ago I lost my beloved Nan who was my last grandparent, lost my other Nan 9 months before that, lost a family friend in a car accident 8 months before this, lost my beloved Uncle back in 2012 then 8 months later my second childhood dog was put down, lost my Grandad back in 2008 who was my best friend and back in 2001 I lost my beloved Great Nan then a few months later my first childhood dog was put down. I am 23 years old and honestly I don’t know how many more times my heart can be smashed into a million pieces.

  44. 7 family and friend 2 dogs in 24 months I lost my best friend from an aneurysm.60 years old a few months later, I came home on Memorial weekend to find my significant other (54), decomposed, he too had brain aneurysm. blood all over (walking dead), 6 months later I found my friend dead in the bed, heart attack. 4 months later my dad, 3 months later my sister (56), I had to pull the breathing tubes, She had an accident. Found my other friend… I walk around and around…

  45. I am so sad reading everyone’s stories. I have my own and it is taking its toll. I lost my husband 3.5 years ago. 16 months later my dad passed away. Mom followed him 13 months after that. My only sibling is dying from advanced cancer. Since we lost Mom in October, he has given up and It may only be weeks. So basically my husband and my entire family have left this world in the past 3.5 years. Drinking too much, eating too much, discovered the casino and waiting for my turn. I am 59. I can’t take much more. I don’t know what I will do when my brother passes.

  46. I have lost a total of 63 Friends in the last 7 years which has put strain on my life , I have been diagnosed with Complex PTSD and serve depression have had help from several groups and company’s but nothing has helped, tried lots of different medication but made me a zombie and it didn’t take away the thoughts, I was then addicted to medication which I struggled to get off, I have paid for private treatment but start explaining about what’s happened and what I have seen and they have got up and walked out , I have lost all my friends as the ones that said they would help have left me in the dark to get on with it , people say i always look happy but inside it’s eating away at me , so much that I cannot sleep properly , Panic attacks , sleep terrors , flashbacks, heavy sweating. Fed up with people saying just get over it

  47. Man, for the first time in a while, I don’t feel so isolated in my greif. So many of you have lost multiple close family members in short periods of time and honestly I didn’t know of anyone outside of my family and extensions of the family, that’s dealing with so much at once. I honestly have felt pretty alone in it and the few people that I do know that are dealing with this much loss, are just “faking it til they make it” like myself. I’ve been through a lot of horrible things and somehow, I am still here. I dont understand how I made it this far as it is to be honest. Ive experienced so much pain, abuse, neglect, and abandonment from nearly birth, that I’ve developed a severely thick skin… outwardly at least. But these last 3 years have been the most difficult of all of my adult pain. It started 2/4/16 when my father was admitted to the hospital and by 2/11/16 he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in his lungs. With more testing, they discovered hit was liver as well. In less than 3/4 of a year, it spread further to his spine and brain. Even with the chemo and radiation treatments. I spent every 3 weeks or so, back and forth from Texas to Ohio. 3 there. 3 here and repeat. I was with him a few weeks before he passed. He was supposed to be in the ICU until the cancer took him but he signed himself out of the hospital against doctors wishes, to go bowling with my older brother and I. It was the only true family outing I had with them two and I treasure it immensely. I had to return home the following day, but told him I’d see him in a few weeks. I never got to make it on time. On 2/24/17 at 9:56 am, while I was on my way to the Houston airport, he finally let go. I felt obligated to stow my greif not long after I made it back to Texas after we laid him to rest. I wasnt asked to do so but I felt my pain was too dark for my then boyfriend, (now fiancee). I felt like I was not devoting the proper attention and time to my relationship so I did the only thing I knew how to do. I buried the pain. I planted it as deep as I could. (Which probably wasn’t far at all since I’ve spent my whole life buring the pain) Then, I tried to pretend like I wasnt as lost, sad, angry, distraught… and so much more, and I feel like I did good enough(ish) until the following January. I had a dream on 1/26/18 that I’d have to bury my mother before the 1 year mark of my fathers death. The next day my mom called me to tell me she was signing up for hospice, as she had been in a nursing home for a couple of years by then. He exact words to me were, “Don’t worry. ?? It’s not an ‘I’m dying’ sort of thing”.. and went on to explain that it was basically easier for the home for when the time actually does come. She hadn’t had a clearly audible conversation with me due to her last 15 or so years with emphysema and constant oxygen. However, that day, I heard her crystal clear. I didnt have to ask her to repeat what she said at all. 3 days later she passed away in

  48. My mother passed away Jan 15 2020. My sister was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer in November 2019. Both were in the same hospital. I recall the day my mother passed. She was in the ICU department. My sister was 2 levels below in the oncology department. About an hour before my mother passed, they wheeled my sister in on her wheelchair with tubes all going through her arms and nose. I will never forgot that sight she rolled up to my mothers bed, grabbed her hand and kissed her one last time. I cried so much as a 32 year old. I will NEVER forgot that, Its sad, Mom never knew that my sister had cancer and they had a strained relationship because she didnt want my mother worrying. On March 7 2020, my sister has stopped all chemo as treatment no longer works. She been on palliative care since then and the doctors have given her a few weeks to love. Kidneys and liver already having issues. Even worse is the corona virus. No family members from over seas can make it to see my sister as international borders are closing. We are predicting a very small funeral and god forbid my town wont go into lockdown because funerals may not be allowed to take place. Just a horror time for the family at the moment. I feel like we my family live in a horror bubble.

  49. My mother passed away Jan 15 2020. My sister was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer in November 2019. Both were in the same hospital. I recall the day my mother passed. She was in the ICU department. My sister was 2 levels below in the oncology department. About an hour before my mother passed, they wheeled my sister in on her wheelchair with tubes all going through her arms and nose. I will never forgot that sight she rolled up to my mothers bed, grabbed her hand and kissed her one last time. I cried so much as a 32 year old. I will NEVER forgot that, Its sad, Mom never knew that my sister had cancer and they had a strained relationship because she didnt want my mother worrying. On March 7 2020, my sister has stopped all chemo as treatment no longer works. She been on palliative care since then and the doctors have given her a few weeks to love. Kidneys and liver already having issues. Even worse is the corona virus. No family members from over seas can make it to see my sister as international borders are closing. We are predicting a very small funeral and god forbid my town wont go into lockdown because funerals may not be allowed to take place. Just a horror time for the family at the moment. I feel like we my family live in a horror bubble.

  50. I woke up from a 50 year long brainwashing from the Jehovah Witnesses. When I told them I didn’t believe in all their man made rules, they shunned me, so I lost a lifetime of people. Then my step father died of cancer Nov 16th 2018, followed by my sister 6 months later of liver failure, my dad then died of cancer a couple weeks ago and my mom died 2 days after him of a heart attack. I’m like really lost right now, and people don’t get it for sure unless it’s happened to them.

  51. I’m 30 years old. For the last 28 years my immediate family members have passed on. I have no elders left besides distant relatives and my brother on my mom side. My aunt passed away when I was 2 she was killed in a car accident. That death changed the beautiful dynamic of my family. Following here my great grandmother in 96’, my cousin Nia the daughter of my aunt who passed committed suicide by drowning in 1999. That really took a toll on us all. Another cousin in 2011 died of a gran mal seizure and alcoholism, he also molested me as a child so his death really messed me up. My grandfather in 2014, my grandmother and mother in 2016. A month an a day apart this was the worst as I was very close to both of them they were my best friend. My last aunt in 2018 and sadly my sister in February of this year. I have my brother and me and a host of neices, nephews and their children. My father is still alive but we aren’t close. I don’t get sad often only when I think of my mother. I miss her most. Sometimes I feel like I live in a dream. There passings has made me self destructive in the pass drinking and driving, promiscuity and frivolousness. I’ve come from so much darkness. I have a hand on it now. Anxiety creeps up now and again but depression has yet to show its face. I don’t drink as much as I used to nor do I like the feeling of being drunk. Fortunately will good faith and wisdom I live my life focused on life not the inevitable. If I allow my darkness to take hold my fear is not that I will die. But that I will live a long depressed life. Depression is the main culprit that shorten many of my family members lives. I don’t want that. I have many angels, lots of traumas too but my head is still high. Optimism has saved my life.

  52. I’m 30 years old. For the last 28 years my immediate family members have passed on. I have no elders left besides distant relatives and my brother on my mom side. My aunt passed away when I was 2 she was killed in a car accident. That death changed the beautiful dynamic of my family. Following here my great grandmother in 96’, my cousin Nia the daughter of my aunt who passed committed suicide by drowning in 1999. That really took a toll on us all. Another cousin in 2011 died of a gran mal seizure and alcoholism, he also molested me as a child so his death really messed me up. My grandfather in 2014, my grandmother and mother in 2016. A month an a day apart this was the worst as I was very close to both of them they were my best friend. My last aunt in 2018 and sadly my sister in February of this year. I have my brother and me and a host of neices, nephews and their children. My father is still alive but we aren’t close. I don’t get sad often only when I think of my mother. I miss her most. Sometimes I feel like I live in a dream. There passings has made me self destructive in the pass drinking and driving, promiscuity and frivolousness. I’ve come from so much darkness. I have a hand on it now. Anxiety creeps up now and again but depression has yet to show its face. I don’t drink as much as I used to nor do I like the feeling of being drunk. Fortunately will good faith and wisdom I live my life focused on life not the inevitable. If I allow my darkness to take hold my fear is not that I will die. But that I will live a long depressed life. Depression is the main culprit that shorten many of my family members lives. I don’t want that. I have many angels, lots of traumas too but my head is still high. Optimism has saved my life.

  53. I’m 30 years old. For the last 28 years my immediate family members have passed on. I have no elders left besides distant relatives and my brother on my mom side. My aunt passed away when I was 2 she was killed in a car accident. That death changed the beautiful dynamic of my family. Following here my great grandmother in 96’, my cousin Nia the daughter of my aunt who passed committed suicide by drowning in 1999. That really took a toll on us all. Another cousin in 2011 died of a gran mal seizure and alcoholism, he also molested me as a child so his death really messed me up. My grandfather in 2014, my grandmother and mother in 2016. A month an a day apart this was the worst as I was very close to both of them they were my best friend. My last aunt in 2018 and sadly my sister in February of this year. I have my brother and me and a host of neices, nephews and their children. My father is still alive but we aren’t close. I don’t get sad often only when I think of my mother. I miss her most. Sometimes I feel like I live in a dream. There passings has made me self destructive in the pass drinking and driving, promiscuity and frivolousness. I’ve come from so much darkness. I have a hand on it now. Anxiety creeps up now and again but depression has yet to show its face. I don’t drink as much as I used to nor do I like the feeling of being drunk. Fortunately will good faith and wisdom I live my life focused on life not the inevitable. If I allow my darkness to take hold my fear is not that I will die. But that I will live a long depressed life. Depression is the main culprit that shorten many of my family members lives. I don’t want that. I have many angels, lots of traumas too but my head is still high. Optimism has saved my life.

  54. I’m 30 years old. For the last 28 years my immediate family members have passed on. I have no elders left besides distant relatives and my brother on my mom side. My aunt passed away when I was 2 she was killed in a car accident. That death changed the beautiful dynamic of my family. Following here my great grandmother in 96’, my cousin Nia the daughter of my aunt who passed committed suicide by drowning in 1999. That really took a toll on us all. Another cousin in 2011 died of a gran mal seizure and alcoholism, he also molested me as a child so his death really messed me up. My grandfather in 2014, my grandmother and mother in 2016. A month an a day apart this was the worst as I was very close to both of them they were my best friend. My last aunt in 2018 and sadly my sister in February of this year. I have my brother and me and a host of neices, nephews and their children. My father is still alive but we aren’t close. I don’t get sad often only when I think of my mother. I miss her most. Sometimes I feel like I live in a dream. There passings has made me self destructive in the pass drinking and driving, promiscuity and frivolousness. I’ve come from so much darkness. I have a hand on it now. Anxiety creeps up now and again but depression has yet to show its face. I don’t drink as much as I used to nor do I like the feeling of being drunk. Fortunately will good faith and wisdom I live my life focused on life not the inevitable. If I allow my darkness to take hold my fear is not that I will die. But that I will live a long depressed life. Depression is the main culprit that shorten many of my family members lives. I don’t want that. I have many angels, lots of traumas too but my head is still high. Optimism has saved my life.

  55. When I was 20 I lost my big brother in 2016 by a car accident. I remember that day because I had just said bye to him that morning because I had to go back to SF for finals and work later on that day. While I was at work, I got a texted from him asking me when I was done with finals so he can come visit his little sister again. I told him finals were going to be a piece of cake and to come visit whenever he can. I had to go back to work and later on I got a call from my sister saying he died. I was and still am devastated. His death anniversary is coming up on May 22nd and it’s still so hard. I spent a lot of time crying and drinking. My abusive boyfriend of two years who I was living with at the time decided to leave me, which was the only good that came out since I wouldn’t leave him. But, It wasn’t until my friend’s brother raped me that I dropped out of school and move back with my parents. They don’t know that information, but yeah. . Then towards the end of the year, my big sister was diagnosed with stage 4 gastric cancer. She was my best friend and closest sister. I really thought she would beat it. a couple days before she was in the hospital and I spent the night there her last night, since we all wanted to be there for her. I stayed up because she had to use the restroom a lot and needed help going to bathroom since she was to weak. The morning she was going to be released her doctor comes in, my sister looks at me and I think oh I’m being rude so I introduce myself.to the doctor but my sister says “no get out”. I was so mad. I waited outside and when I came back in I told her don’t do that anymore I need to know what.you need help with and how you are doing. Later that day we were able to take her to her home, we had dinner together and she was tired so I left. I told her I would come back tomorrow, so we could hangout. After I left, I went to target, I wanted to get her some comfy pajamas that fit her, the ones she wore at the hospital were too long. A few hours after I got to my apartment, my older sister called me thwt my sister died. All I could think about after my 25yr old sister died in 2018 was how I was going to kill myself. I thought, what’s the point of living if I’m just going to be sad the rest of my life. I have other siblings, and we are so close. They are all going to die and my parents. I would think if I drive fast enough on the freeway and hit the divider I could die on impact, but there is always that chance I might survive and become a burden on my family. I thought maybe I can pretend I’m going backpacking, that way they won’t know about my death for a while. I didn’t want them to be sad. My sister’s birthday just passed two days ago. It’s really hard during this time. My brother died in my sister’s birth month and my sister died in my brother’s birth month. I don’t want to keep losing my family but I know it’s inevitable. I just wish I knew how to deal with it and be okay.

  56. I have lost every member of my family. When I was a child, I lost my grandmother and my Dad within a few weeks of each other, then my Mum became ill with cancer. My Mum had a horribly painful and traumatic death, and this haunts me. Last August, my brother died young, and 5 days later I lost my partner to leukaemia. My brother’s death had been horrendous, because he was under the aegis of Care in the Community, as in no care, no community. As a child of 6, he had been knocked down by a drunken hit and run driver, which caused brain damage, leading to paranoid schizophrenia. Decades of hell, and then a painful death. I am left with guilt , as well as grief for all these deaths, and because I’m now alone, with no family, I feel isolated and lost. I try to remain as positive as I can, but behind the facade, I’m struggling to cope. These were all good people, and all died young, painful deaths. I watch life going on around me, albeit in a weird way due to coronavirus, but I don’t feel part of it.

  57. I lost my boyfriend sept 2019. He was murdered, 4 days after his funeral my dad passed away, two months later my oldest son passed away dec 2019. I buried him the day after my birthday. I lost 3 significant male figures in my life in 4 months. Im lost and numbingmy pain….my boyfriend wanted to marry me. I have 5 kids and he wasn’t their father but he was willing to help me raise them and he was my soul mate. My dad wasn’t my biological father but he is the only dad I knew. My son was my world my heart and he was so humble, he was 3weeks shy of going to boot camp for the army, he joined to help me, so we don’t struggle.

  58. Lost my Mom whom I have never been far from for more then three weeks in my 54 yrs. I was with her at her last hrs. She died at 80 after choices we made to surjury I now not sure we talked about and researched enough about dialysis. Sucked the life right out of her and she suffered so much after that, docs told me nothing more they could do and I always wonder if I myself couldn’t of done more.. As my being aty Mom’s bedside, my oldest brother was in same condition and died a month later. I wasn’t there for him at all. Guilt is plaging me.. Having tons of dreams and emotionally drained.Took awhile to come up with funds for my mom’s funeral. And still trying to cover my brother’s cost of burial. I’m been in sever depression since 1998 and don’t like being around people so I only take day jobs to make it day to day. Not looking for pity. Just don’t know what to look for?? Mental health cost to. Any suggestions?

  59. My sister has had 3 losses in a 24 month period. And she hasn’t grieved at all from the first one. I’m very worried about her.we are very close and I’m there for her anytime but I live in a different state. Everytime something happens I’m there. So 24 months ago. My sister and husband lost a dear friend by a heart attack ( 32 yrs old) exactly 1 yr later they lost ( His mom sisters mom in law) very close relationship. There still dealing with these 2 losses. Husband not dealing well with loss of mom.-deniel. My sister hadn’t grieved at all due to husband. Basically dealing with rollercoaster life of loss and 3rd loss very recently there young cat which is my sister’s world just passed away out of the blue. I’m so worried about her. No grieving. The only thing other then sisters and a conditional mom is her pets. I feel this 3rd loss well the last straw for her..Please help me to help her!!! Love my sister!!!

  60. I lost my entire family. I grew up in the same house my entire life. I had both parents and a younger sister, (who had a very rare genetic syndrome) by my side since I entered this world. My parents were married and I was very sheltered. I had a very happy childhood. My father died of pancreatic cancer when I was 18 years old, my mother died from anaphylaxis (allergic reaction) when I was 20. My younger sister died in her sleep in 2018 and I lost my dog 2019 he was 10 years old. I am now 29 years old and very much still grieving and enduring horrendous anxiety and panic. Just wanted to share my story, saying I feel for all of you

  61. I lost my brother a year ago then 9 months later my mum died battling bladder cancer. Had to watch my mum in agony with cancer and knowing there was nothing I could do to help her. This was also right in the midst I f covid-19 and it was the worst experience of my life. Without my mum in my life is horrendous and the emotional pain I feel everyday is unbearable at times. I already suffer with anxiety and depression and have an addiction issues as well.I need some help as the anxiety and depression is causing havoc with my body and I now am struggling to even go out the door. I’ve been sick as well and my diabetes is all ovr the place. Had numerous hypo’s while I’ve been out and has scared me to death. My marriage is crumbling and my relationship with kids us affected as well. Complete mess.HELP!

  62. I have lost my mum, partner,nephew,uncle, aunt in the last year and half and now my 27 year old sister has days left to live my sister is dying of a slow painful death to cancer she has it all over now started with cervical. my sister is by far the worse as the rest were sudden i also have lost 6 good friends in space of 2 years. I am a carer and when someone dies at my work i look after the resident i look after the families and i wash and prepare the resident to go to undertakers and I then go home its takes me a couple of days but then it’s out my mind. 3 of my friends died first then my partner then my nephew then another friend then my aunty then other friend then my mum died then at my mum funeral my uncle took a heart attack then my other friend died a week after that but my point in writing this is i am beating myself up and hating on myself because i loved all these people so so bloody much but I feel horrible even saying this but I feel like i have looked at all there deaths like they are not someone i love with all my heart like they are residents i have looked after I felt emotional for 1 or 2 days then I got on with myour life and strangely i had been on anti depressants since I was 15 years old i am 38 now and have been off them for 3 years my mind set has never been more positive in the fact that losing all these people it has pushed me to live my best life as in going back to college doing alternative medications that I have always wanted to do but was lacking in confidence fot the first time in my life i am not scared to do everything I have ever wished to do which has put me in such a positive head space but then when people ask how i am after losing these people the guilt creeps back in like i should be feeling sad I shouldn’t be coping with there deaths but I am.is this normal behaviour am I losing my mind

  63. I’m 35 and have faced 2 massive griefs this year. My mum, my best friend, my everything passed away in Feb 2020 from cancer. She died at home, we don’t think she was in too much pain. It hurts every day. All I seem to do is cry. I have 2 sons, one who was extremely close to her, almost like a second mum. She had 16 months from diagnosis. We miss her so much. We had to rally around after my dad who had a brain hemorrhage in ‘96 but able bodied. Short term memory was a big problem. He died 2 weeks ago on 15th Oct by a lorry. We went to see him yesterday and funeral on Tuesday. I don’t know how I’m functioning right now. We have until 23rd Nov to give their council house back so have been clearing that. How do I ever feel normal again?

  64. I got diagnosed with cancer early 2017 then lost my dad early 2018 then in March of 2019 I lost my mom and brother 5 days apart..it is still so overwhelming for me..I have lost all interest in life or trying to enjoy life and be happy and move forward..I am angry at what has happened to me and my family and still can’t wrap my head around it all

  65. I lost both my sons in 2020. They were 30 and 33 yrs old. I am lost and cant move on. Josh was shot in the head. They say suicide I know it’s not. My other son Chris hung himself 2 months later. Never could I ever imagine this. In my heart I know what happened. They were arguing and gun went off. My x had my son lie. Chris CV ould not live wa with what he did. The way it all happened the lies . I want to take my life and go to the. Life has haa ended for me. They were my only family my reason for going on. I’m angry and full ll I ever believed I now question. Both my sons in 2 1/2 months. They lived in ShowLow, AZ.

  66. I’m so sad right now! I lost my dad on Boxing Day to Covid. He was all I had left. I lost my sister to cancer in 2014 , then my brother2016 , then my mum 2019 and now my dad 2020. I feel so abandoned and alone. I can’t get rid of the feeling that I’m next. Why am I left alone? This is just too much to bare. I am a single parent with no support and I’m so scared. I miss my family so much.

  67. I lost my brother at 22, he was 27. Hung with his own belt. Grandma died the following year. Then uncle and aunt the following year. Some time went by then my other aunt and uncle passed. Lost my best friend from childhood. Down the road My dad died, next year my sister, then my best friend of 31 years. My niece (from my brother) became homeless and turned on me. Now she has a tbi. After my best friend died my Director of 12 years died as well as my wonderful career. I was degraded and mentally abused by his replacement and fired. (Sovereign property, no rights) then 2 horses the same year I had to euthanize. Then the last death just 3 yrs ago, my mom.. My entire family is gone. Im not even a sr yet. Now, a really good friend of mine is struggling with cancer. If I didnt have my daughter there would be no reason to go on. I couldnt function in life in the professional field. Became a care giver. Last 2 years 2 clients passed. Now I have health issues and its scary.

  68. I just lost my grandma today. I don’t know how to cope. I lost my grandpa, her husband, on May 20th 2020. I grieved for my grandpa for months, I cried every day. By november I had stopped crying every day and only would occasionally. I tried to be positive because I also had university exams. I’m in the middle of another exam session and grandma is gone. This morning I had just asked my mother how she was and last night I had written the names of all the people I’d lost and cared about: Nonno Antonio (her husband). He’s the one I loved the most. I was named after him because he was such a good person and my mum (his daughter in law) wanted me to have his name. The only thing that keeps me going is that they are now together once more. My grandma’s (mental) health rapidly deteriorated after his death. I’ve thought some horrible things. I loved my grandpa a lot more than grandma but I loved her nonetheless. I regret not studying harder – they would’ve seen me graduate from university. That’s a regret that will probably stay with me forever. I know it might not sound important but it is to me. Nonno Peppo – my other grandpa. He died when I was 6 so I didn’t really know him. Nonno Dionisio – he’s not my grandfather (he’s my uncle’s father) but he felt like one to me. I know he cared about me even though I wasn’t his grandson. He did have a grandson many years ago but he died in a car accident when he was 7/8. I think he was saw him in me, I’m not sure. I remember that he didn’t want to sell his sheep, even though he was getting older, because I liked them. Padre Tommaso. He was a priest at my church that held a small ceremony for my grandpa. It was just my parents and my little sister. He died a month after grandpa. Mme. Janine. She was my violin teacher for many years and I saw her as a grandma. I was born and raised abroad so I only saw my grandparents during the holidays. I found out on new years eve 2018. I had called her to invite her to dinner. When no one replied my sister found an article online stating that she had passed away in April. Ciao Nonna Maria, adesso anche tu te ne sei andata. Almeno state insieme di nuovo. Lo so che è quello che volevi.

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